Brief 3 - 'Out Of Date' Feedback

I have received some helpful feedback on my comedy rough edit:

 To reduce the amount of time it takes foe the woman to walk across the car-park. Initially I thought I had cut this down enough, but I was told it still needed cutting down considerably, so I cut a second or two from each frame to reduce the length.

 Before, in this shot it looked as if the man was waiting around, so I cut on the point in which he is turning around, to create a snappier, more effective and believable edit.

The length of this shot was reduced as it looked as if he was about to talk.

 I created a quicker cut to show more of the woman's reaction when the man insults her. Thus hopefully creating more of an impacting on the audience.

The milk van initially came into the shot, but now I have cut it in which the van is already in shot.

- creating a faster paced, snappy edit.

The line in which the woman says "Oh bloody hell, I go' get' frozen peas"was in my rough edit, however I never cut to her saying it. This was because she is smiling in the shot and it put me off using it. But I was told a cut was needed when this line was said, so I created a quick cut lasting 1-2 seconds.




UPDATE

I have added a tyre screech sound effect for the van clip (above) to add comical effect.